Corinthia Falls

“Boys, looks like the Sam boy and a goat brought more people to the Lord today than this here church has done on its own in the last ten years.”

The two factions of the Corinthia Falls Church were all in place that Sunday morning. On the left were the “Standers,” the charismatic group, almost always on their feet, hands raised, shouting amens and blessings. On the right were the “Setters,” sitting stoically, giving an impression of deep disdain for their fellow parishioners to the left.

Deacon Johnson had just announced the opening hymn, “Nearer My God to Thee,” when the young Sam boy, barefoot, shirtless, painted a devil red and with a deer head over his own, stormed into the church shouting, “Repent, repent, ye sinners, or ye will turn into a goat!” Accompanying him was, in fact, one billy goat… also doused in bright red paint. That Sunday morning in church there were four testimonials, five re-dedications and one conversion. But the Corinthia Falls Church would need a lot more shaking up than what the Sam boy and a red billy goat could provide. Then Colonel Pavlos Lincoln Armstrong came into town. A traveling evangelist and an former Green Beret, the mysterious man arrived dressed completely in black. His canine sidekick, Silas, was right by his side. The once dysfunctional Corinthia Falls congregation was about to change for good.